Receb1 um simpático e informativo mail de um cidadão nacional, criado nos EUA e residente actualmente na Madeira, que me foi erradamente dirigido.

Reservando a identidade do remetente, destaco apenas algumas passagens. Omito o CV, BI e outros dados que recebi. Confesso que não resisti à tentação de deixar implícito o destinatário…

Dear J*** C******* De Almeida,

I am very excited to share my resume with you.  Enclosed in this email, please find a Microsoft Word attachment (.docx).

 I am a writer, researcher, and educator with a sharp mind for business.  Linguistically, I am still on the important learning curve; minha mãe e avó nasceram e foram criados em Prazeres. Yet, I do not want to be forced back to the United States of America simply due to lack of income while I become more proficient in Portuguese. For this reason, I do not want to forfeit my potential contributions to Portugal as a professional employee, nor do I want to lose my connection to the citizens of Madeira and to the nation of Portugal.  I aim to explore and discover the rich culture and diverse traditions that is now, and forever shall be, my home.  I am proud to be a Portuguese citizen and very thankful for this opportunity.

(…) You have permission to share this correspondence with political and managerial supervisors throughout Portugal, and I can provide you multiple copies of my resume if required. I am an honest, respectful, and hard working individual who keenly understands the responsibilities necessary to help bring my new community into a more financially competitive position.  I believe that all Portuguese people should have the opportunity to thrive in the 21st century, and I would like to gain well-disciplined employment in education, research, or business to help move us all forward.
Kindly review my legal credentials and understand my sincere desire to integrate myself into the professional community in Portugal.  I do not require too much, but I would like to earn a fair salary that is commensurate with my lifelong work ethic in exchange for my hard work.  My spirit wants to contribute positively to life in Madeira and in the nation of Portugal. I consider myself to be an asset who welcomes the challenges to learn, to grow, and to produce. Agradeço-lhe por seu tempo e espero que você possa imaginar minha lealdade e contribuições em um ambiente profissional.
E esta heinh?